Listen, My Children...

Every Little Helps

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Jew Haiku

Hey! Get back indoors!
Whatever you were doing
could put an eye out.

Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams; nice, but
her son is forty.

Lovely nose ring;
excuse me while I put my
head in the oven.

Yom Kippur-- Forgive
me, Lord, for the Mercedes
and all that lobster.

Coroner's report --
"The deceased, wearing no hat,
caught his death of cold."

The same kimono
the top geishas are wearing:
got it at Loehmann's.

Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.

The sparrow brings home
too many worms for her young.
"Force yourself," she chirps.

Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?

Today, mild shvitzing.
Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.
Five-day forecast: feh

(From Haikus for Jews by David Bader.)


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