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Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Those Ignorant Natives


(In other news: I've got the flu. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging, below.)

There are a few things we all must remember, in light of the US's unilateral and illegal abduction of the freely-elected ruler of a democratic nation:

We must make sure that Saddam Hussein has a trial with an outcome acceptable to the UN. After all, the hypocritical US claims to adhere to a policy of "innocent until proven guilty," at the same time that they arrest and kill non-white Iraqis on the assumption that they are guilty. In that light, we must remember that Mr. Hussein may well be innocent of these heinous charges. We hear he had body doubles (and who wouldn't, with the US after you?) -- those videos of Mr. Hussein walking along shooting people, or having half his government colleagues executed, well, they could be just lookalikes trying to frame him. We should not jump to conclusions! Additionally, if there are any unacceptable practices during the trial, such as emotional arguments based on concocted stories about alleged crimes, we must, in all fairness, demand an acquittal!

Additionally, like all good Catholics, we must agree with the Vatican that Mr. Hussein is simply a scared and weak man, being treated like a "beast" by the US (can you imagine the audacity? searching a human for lice and cavities (well, and suicide capsules) the same way one would search children in public schools?), and that the death penalty is a barbaric holdover of the dark ages. If those barbarous medieval Iraqis still support it and feel that murdering their democratically-elected ruler is just punishment for crimes he may or may not have committed (remember, the trial has not yet taken place), we must enlighten them as to the backwards nature of their beliefs (but, of course, without making it seem that the West is superior, even though we are part of the West and we are superior -- we'll have none of the US's conceptual imperialism).

We also believe the US should immediately pull out of Iraq; in fact, we are confused why they have not acted as any sensible group would, by fleeing the country at the first sign of opposition. (As I mentioned a while back, and have later seen verified, the UN left Baghdad after they were bombed; why isn't this story getting more play?) A country so obviously bent on the destruction of its own and its allies' soldiers would certainly not think twice about allowing the destruction of a country filled with people who look different and speak another language. Any of its actions must be viewed with the utmost skepticism!

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