Listen, My Children...

Every Little Helps

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

On Relationships


Mr. Lileks has something that made me pause:
Coming up 7th, around 26th street. A car is attempting to nose through an intersection. There are no other cars in front of it, but a large crowd has decided that it will just cross the street against the light. As the car inches forward at a rate somewhat slower than continental drift, a sullen young man with his arm draped around his girlfriend walks in front of the vehicle. The car continues to move forward, moving perhaps half an inch, attempting to imply that it does sort of kinda have, you know, right of way?

The young man glowers at the car. Bitch, he mutters, I outta blow you fukatta tha car.

The woman behind the wheel was roughly the same age and size as the girlfriend. Nevermind him; dime a dozen and overpriced at that. But what of the girlfriend? What goes through her mind when her boyfriend casually remarks that he feels like shooting someone who’s attempting to go through a crosswalk on a green light? Yes, yes, figure of speech. But not one that rises to the lips of a good man. Maybe that’s the attraction; wouldn’t be the first time. But you see them two years down the road - she has the baby, he’s gone, she’s blaming everyone but herself for what happened. Girl, that was your cue, right there at 7th and 26th.

Maybe she’ll heed it.

I left a guy over something like that once. I've never looked back. Girls, the first sign a guy's no good is if he doesn't treat you right; the second is if he doesn't treat your mother right (even when she's not around); the third is if he doesn't treat strangers with respect.

But there are other reasons. The ladies from "The Rules" had one thing right (not original to them, but they're best known for it): girls, if you give a guy everything he wants, cooking, cleaning, and bed rights, then he's got no reason whatsoever to marry you unless he's of higher moral character than you are. And, girls, the average guy seems to be of lower moral character than the average girl.

And there's this, from Houston-band-gone-international Caedmon's Call:
If I may pose a question, it'll only take a second
'Cause I know that it's getting late
And depending on your answer I might have to pack
And make a daring daylight escape
Because it's either high time to make you mine
Or I swear it's time to get outta town
So please say "yes" quick, 'cause the sun's going down

That's a guy worth going after. Someone who sees that at some point the relationship either has to go all the way -- with God's blessing -- or it has to stop. Can't go on as it is eternally. Would that there were more guys like that.

(I'm not having relationship qualms, not at all. Bob's not disrespectful at all, to me or to any other female, but a bit reluctant. And he supports his 27-year-old brother in being reluctant. Perhaps I should rethink things. I'm a bit too much of a Barbara Billingsley for eternal power-woman life or for modern live-in relationships. Anyhow, we'll see. It'll be five years by the end of this year; that's a good time to decide if we're going anywhere or not.)

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