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Every Little Helps

Saturday, May 17, 2003

CZARS virus


Harvard has many humor publications; one of the better ones is the backwardsly-named Satire V. Much like Scrappleface, it does news spoofs loosely based on real news. One article from the current issue is not yet online (and, considering that the last online article is from fall 2001, likely not to be online anytime soon):
W.H.O. Issues CZARS Virus Warning
Early last week World Health Organization officials issed travel warnings for Russia, as outbreaks of the CZARS virus were discovered. The Russian government has confirmed 32 cases of the disease. Russian President Vladimir Putin remained calm, but also warned that "in the past, we've only had one case of CZARS virus at any time. It will be difficult to handle the growing number of victims."
Symptoms of the virus include the accumulation of serfs, hemophilia, and the growth of pointy beards. The building of palaces and the construction of beautiful Faberge eggs have tripled in the last three months in Russia. Several Russians with the disease have also had outbreaks of Russo-Japanese wars....

I'm so happy!

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